A marriage proposal from a Nigerian
Dear Paulsen Woles
Thank you for your inbox messages telling me you love me and you want to come and visit me at my home. Although I think it’s a bit unusual to move so fast, I am flattered by the sentiment. As stated in my response, I will have to pass your request on to the Royal Heatherist Council for approval. I have to advise you that, because you asked me for my email, telephone number and address and because you are Nigerian, it will be assumed that you are simply trying to steal my identity because everybody knows that’s all Nigerians do. Also, your use of the word “babe”, “love” and “marriage” within the first handful of messages suggest that you are also mentally spasticated and in the species of sub-human I like to refer to as a “complete cunt”. As such, I must advise you that the chances of your appeal being successful are slim, or in Heatherspeak “Fuck off you stupid fucking tribal cockburger”. Anyway, the Heatherist High Council will take a vote and respond to you in due course.
Yours Sincerely
Heather Carter
Thank you for your inbox messages telling me you love me and you want to come and visit me at my home. Although I think it’s a bit unusual to move so fast, I am flattered by the sentiment. As stated in my response, I will have to pass your request on to the Royal Heatherist Council for approval. I have to advise you that, because you asked me for my email, telephone number and address and because you are Nigerian, it will be assumed that you are simply trying to steal my identity because everybody knows that’s all Nigerians do. Also, your use of the word “babe”, “love” and “marriage” within the first handful of messages suggest that you are also mentally spasticated and in the species of sub-human I like to refer to as a “complete cunt”. As such, I must advise you that the chances of your appeal being successful are slim, or in Heatherspeak “Fuck off you stupid fucking tribal cockburger”. Anyway, the Heatherist High Council will take a vote and respond to you in due course.
Yours Sincerely
Heather Carter
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