The trial of Frank
Dear fellow Heatherists,
Thursday 19th December 2013; a day which will live in infamy. Today Francesca Owens declared war on Tara Sullivan. An act of this magnitude is considered high treason in the Heatherist book of constitution (that does exist you know, I just made it up!)
She stands accused of reporting a photo shared by Ms Sullivan; a photo evidently mocking Muslims. Although I didn’t see the aforementioned post, it stands to reason it was an honest and truthful post because we all know Muslims are cunts and should be mocked.
The court hears that Ms/Mr Owens then did proceed to message Ms Sullivan and request the removal of said photography. As we all know, Ms Sullivan has been unjustly incarcerated in the hellish Facebook prison (I know, I’m in there at the moment. I actually saw Tara being brought in by the Facebook guards this morning and we exchanged expletives before she turned on one guard, called him an “efucken cunt” and was led away whilst defiantly singing the Australian National Anthem and holding a Wattle, which is the emblem of her land).
Although Ms/Mr Owens (whose gender is very questionable) denies all counts of traitorous cuntishness, my observation of her today smacks of what I can only describe as “colossal bullshit”. Having been given a chance to publicly answer the accusations made against her, no defence was forthcoming. I ask the court, members of the jury (that’s you, that is) to ask yourselves why. To me it is clear her silence implies her guilt. Other evidence submitted during questioning also suggests that she is a heretic and a witch and turns people into Newts.
After much deliberation, I have decided to banish her from the Official Heatherists with immediate effect and with permanent duration (which is an efucken long time). She remains under observation on a restricted profile until such time as it can be ascertained whether he/she is, in fact, an undercover Muslim working with the Taliban.
In finishing, I would like to say you guys efucken rule! All hail the carrot.
P.S. Where are you James?
Thursday 19th December 2013; a day which will live in infamy. Today Francesca Owens declared war on Tara Sullivan. An act of this magnitude is considered high treason in the Heatherist book of constitution (that does exist you know, I just made it up!)
She stands accused of reporting a photo shared by Ms Sullivan; a photo evidently mocking Muslims. Although I didn’t see the aforementioned post, it stands to reason it was an honest and truthful post because we all know Muslims are cunts and should be mocked.
The court hears that Ms/Mr Owens then did proceed to message Ms Sullivan and request the removal of said photography. As we all know, Ms Sullivan has been unjustly incarcerated in the hellish Facebook prison (I know, I’m in there at the moment. I actually saw Tara being brought in by the Facebook guards this morning and we exchanged expletives before she turned on one guard, called him an “efucken cunt” and was led away whilst defiantly singing the Australian National Anthem and holding a Wattle, which is the emblem of her land).
Although Ms/Mr Owens (whose gender is very questionable) denies all counts of traitorous cuntishness, my observation of her today smacks of what I can only describe as “colossal bullshit”. Having been given a chance to publicly answer the accusations made against her, no defence was forthcoming. I ask the court, members of the jury (that’s you, that is) to ask yourselves why. To me it is clear her silence implies her guilt. Other evidence submitted during questioning also suggests that she is a heretic and a witch and turns people into Newts.
After much deliberation, I have decided to banish her from the Official Heatherists with immediate effect and with permanent duration (which is an efucken long time). She remains under observation on a restricted profile until such time as it can be ascertained whether he/she is, in fact, an undercover Muslim working with the Taliban.
In finishing, I would like to say you guys efucken rule! All hail the carrot.
P.S. Where are you James?
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